In our society, the main response to an unpleasant feeling or state is a need and an attempt to stop the unpleasant state and get to a pleasant state.
Most people facing their gloomy thoughts that create unpleasant feelings don’t even consider any other attitude. Because of the civilization’s deep-rooted ideas of duality, the subconscious of most people puts them in the position of the need to solve or get rid of the thing when their moods drop.
Reflect and notice if you can recognize yourself in this kind of response and if it works out for you.
There is another radically different approach, but in order to really understand it and therefore spontaneously make it a part of your everyday life, you need to get a certain level of understanding of what human experience really is and recognize the part of you that is pure presence unaffected by anything that happens. This recognition might be much closer than it seems.
So, what is the other approach to our unpleasant states? A good term that points to this “mode” is floating over. Floating over the whole experience in the moment, no matter how hard the experience might be. In practice, this approach is much more natural, makes more sense from a wider understanding of how things work, the more we are connected to our inner guidance, the more is this approach a part of our everyday life. And, it is much more effective than the conventional attitude in the sense that unpleasant states have a strong tendency to be much less intense and last much less.
Imagine a wild river, whitewater and stones under the surface. If you struggle and try to “fight” the river, submit it to your will and make it take you back to the shore, it will toss and turn you, hit you to the rocks on the bottom and you will get seriously hurt. On the other hand, if you accept the situation, realize that you are in the river already and you will have to go through a part of it, if you relax and let yourself float, the river will take you through the hardest parts as gently as possible. You will still have to cross the same unpleasant part of the river, but it’s not gonna be nearly as painful as in the first case.
This is just a metaphor that might help you to picture this state of floating over I’m pointing to, don’t take it too litteraly.
So. You might have noticed, there is a part of you that stays still and peaceful in the face of even the greatest danger. This part of you already knows what floating over is, it doesn’t have to be explained, it’s not an intellectual thing. The point is to get more familiar with this part of yourself, to make it an “everyday companion”, to uncover it more and more and therefore change your attitude towards everything.
Unpleasant states are a natural part of life, life flows in waves with it’s crests and valleys. To try to avoid valleys is not natural and it is not wise. It is a shallow reaction of the personal mind. It’s this reaction and not the valley itself that creates real suffering.
Let these words sink into you and notice if there is a voice in you that knows this is true. Start listening to this voice and your unpleasant states, your valleys might get much easier.