I Was at the Bottom of Life

You know, I am writing this for myself but also for all those who will be inspired and encouraged by this story. It took me a long time to put all the parts of my life into sentences because I thought I would need a lot of sentences… but at the end of this story, you will see that not just one sentence, but just one word is enough.

I met Three Principles and Darko about four years ago. I was at the bottom of life, and not for the first time but this time the bottom was deeper. I was sick, weak, exhausted from work, angry, sad and completely lost. I heard from someone about the Three Principles but I absolutely didn’t know what it was about. I accidentally came across a promo catalog and found Darko’s name and number there, I went home and called him immediately. And that’s where the story of healing begins.

We started talking and it lasted about a year. I talked – he listened to me, he talked – I listened. And everything became clearer, I began to understand the deeper meaning of life. From focusing on problems the image started to spread, I started to see things outside the box. I felt the fog of life dissipate into a crystalline and clear image. Darko asked me several times to write him a few words and my testimonial, but I didn’t want to, I wasn’t ready. It was not the time yet.

This path of self-realization was at the same time wonderful, liberating, full of learning and searching, but at the same time, I was going through the most difficult moments with my health. I lived in unbearable pain, I walked from doctor to doctor, did various tests, the condition of my physical body was bad. I was thin and exhausted and underwent several surgeries and came to a diagnosis of Crohn’s disease. It was a heavy blow, then it seemed to me that I was losing the battle. But he told me, among other things: come on, it’s just a diagnosis, don’t believe it, it’s not eternal. And I didn’t believe him right away because I trusted the diagnosis a lot more. Yet something was pulling me to move on, I knew deep down that this was the right path. Not this one full of pain and suffering. I left the hospital on my own initiative and decided that I would be cured. I didn’t know how or whom to turn to, I just knew that I was surrendering, completely. The fear was sometimes so great that I would be completely paralyzed, I even had difficulty walking because I also got rheumatoid arthritis.

At one point, the fear escalated so much that it turned into liberation. Disappeared. It turned into something I would call light. Somehow it took me to the right people and doctors and I was cured. I had clear and intense insights and such vivid solutions that quickly began to materialize. In the meantime, I met more wonderful teachers and people who also conveyed an understanding of the Three Principles. Life began to change. My inner being was finally HERE, in peace. Sometimes I would just sit and cry with pure happiness and love. Until then, I didn’t know that love comes from within us. It flowed through me like a river.

I was crying and letting go of my past. And my past seemed very difficult to me. I was an addict, I lost my father very early, my stepfather was an alcoholic, I also lost my fiancé, I was raped and much more… I was often infinitely sad because I thought the past determined me. Until the moment I realized that the past exists nowhere but in my mind. And the future too. The past is a cemetery and the future is a cemetery. I started living in the NOW. And I think that anyone who has given up their past (and future), the one who lives in the present moment – is free. Serene. And you know those many sentences from the beginning of the story, they melt into just one word. Surrender. When you learn to surrender to all that life brings, you are free. You are freed. And as long as there is music in you, dance with life because it is a gift that’s a shame to waste.

In the meantime, I had another child, returned to painting, I do exhibitions, paint and do my restoration work but I do it the way I want, from my house in my studio, with two happy children messing around my legs and also I’m spreading the understanding of the Three Principles further. Whenever I have time, I work with people and share the understanding in the same way Darko shared it with me. That became my path as well. Every day I am grateful for that one more day regardless of what it’s like.

There is one sentence that guides me: Have a mind open to everything and attached to nothing!

Jasmine