She Chirps and I Love Her!

Except for the fact that I feel the wind on my face when I ride my bike out of town after doing my duties (the wind was also present before but I didn’t feel it) and besides the fact that I have more will to live, I’m also lighter as if a big burden has fallen.


There are two big indicators that amaze me and it seems to me that life is magic:

I started writing my professional texts suddenly after a 5-year break, without resistance towards that which I had for 5 years. I happily get up in the morning to sit down at the computer and let my knowledge and ideas come out, without burden, without fear of reviewers liking it or disliking it;

without thinking how it would be better to be at the sea or to be here and there, at a festival, at a seminar, and not at my computer in the house for hours, days; I know and feel that what I write in the texts is my statement, my expression, i.e. maybe it is not mine but it comes from somewhere through me, and it doesn’t matter whose expression it is, it is important to me that I like that process of leaking ideas through me.

The second is about my mother, whenever she comes to visit me or I visit her, she always throws me out of my center, irritates me thoroughly and tires me deeply, that I have to sleep and rehabilitate half a day after that;

now, she comes, I look at her how wonderful she is in her way of being, how specific she is, and I look forward to hanging out with her;

she still criticizes my kitchen for being dirty, and criticizes the fact that I didn’t pull all the grass, and why the food in the pantry rots and why I don’t fix that fridge, and messes with some rags on the sink and on the floor and doesn’t wash her hands afterward;

and I look and experience that it is her pattern, her expression of existence, that she is like that and that it is her way, such is her personality and I do not judge that she is unconscious, and I do not judge that she has conditioned me all my life and that she has charged me with guilt and remorse that I carry under my skin… I just look at her and enjoy her wandering around my kitchen in her own way and fiddles and circles and complains about something; I hear her complaints like the chirping of birds changing tones; she chirps and I love her!

On the way out I hug her and say that I like to spend time with her, and she laughs happily even though her spine hurts a lot and tells me that she loves me endlessly, endlessly and that I am her little girl.

Chandra

Related Articles:

  1. Depression and Anxiety – What Doesn’t Cure Them and What Actually Does Depression and anxiety are increasingly widespread phenomena in today’s society. From everyday practice of working with people I notice that these conditions, among others, increasingly affect very young people – teenagers, adolescents and those in their twenties. Sometimes these conditions are related to the circumstances that the person is going through...
  2. All Suffering at Its Core Is Only a Belief in One Thought: “Something Should Be Different Than It Is.” Believing this thought is the same thing as the internal (psychological) resistance to what is. ...
  3. All My Anger Towards Her, Just Turned Into One Big Nothing I will try to convey in words all the feelings that follow me from the moment I came across the Three Principles, although often there are not strong enough words to convey our feelings, but I believe that in the context of everything you will catch the rhythm I want...
  4. Surface Duality, Basic Unity and What It Means to Be a Man On the surface of our everyday experience, we basically perceive two different kinds of states, pleasant and unpleasant. And for most people in the background of the mind, there is always a struggle of trying to reach the pleasant and to escape the unpleasant. This struggle can be very active,...