Those Real, Deep Changes

For me, my childhood wasn’t easy. Every morning I was woken up by my mom yelling at dad for yesterday’s drunkenness, and throughout the day I would see him drunk and causing quarrels. My resentment and condemnation toward my father followed me all my life. In addition, the constant worry of whether I will have enough money for what I need and what I want has most often resulted in me not having it. If an unpleasant situation happened to me, such as a breakup with a partner, I would find it hard to bear. In that case, my body suffered the most. My thoughts caused a stomach cramp that made me unable to eat and so I lost a few pounds in a very short time. I was hungry, and I couldn’t eat, so I usually went to bed hungry, which didn’t turn out well, because I couldn’t sleep because of that same hunger. It’s clear that again the next day, both hungry and sleepless, I couldn’t function well. And so when the situation in my head was a little better, everything went back to normal again, but the next awkward situation (no matter what) would result in the same thing. There have been a lot of such situations in my life. From my perspective, my life didn’t have any substantial meaning.

Two years ago, I learned about the Law of Attraction. It brought a glimmer of hope into my life. I literally swallowed books trying to help myself in any way. And I can admit it helped me, but just superficially. The same things were still happening to me, the same situations in which I would suffer. Until life led me to the Three Principles. I spent literally a few days on the blog reading how people’s lives have changed by learning about this understanding. I didn’t hesitate for long and decided to experience that myself. I can only say that this is the best “thing” that has ever happened to me. In a very short period of time, I felt huge changes. Those real, deep changes. The realization that the inner feeling that is always available to us is the most valuable thing in life is amazing. All the time I was trying to find happiness, love and proof that I am worth in the outside world, and of course I never found those things there. It was in me all the time, but the noise of the thought made it impossible for me to feel it. I started to love myself more and more because you can’t really love others until you start loving yourself, just the way you are at this moment. The money that looked like the most important factor for me has fallen into the background, that is, it is no longer so important to me, which results in more and more of it flowing.

The realization that dad was doing his best at all times given his level of consciousness was also incredibly liberating. Because if he knew better, he would do better. I feel more and more love and understanding for him. And I also feel that his soul feels it. All this peace, which is growing with each insight and all this understanding, I try to pass on to the rest of the family and I can say that it’s working. Their souls feel the truth as mine does. Dad doesn’t even drink that much anymore, and we don’t judge him when he drinks. Also, my relations with my friends have improved. I am aware that I had envious thoughts towards those who have everything I wanted that blocked healthy relationships, but that too has disappeared. The realization that everything had to be the way it is to bring me to this understanding is miraculous. Because I know how many beautiful moments with this understanding await for me in the rest of my life. Also, food problems have disappeared. The realization that all my “problems” were actually just my thoughts that are actually an illusion and don’t exist as a reality outside of my mind made my life incredibly beautiful. All that resentment, all that envy, unforgiveness, are just games of the ego which were defeated before my eyes day after day. My life took on a completely different note. Now happiness and love fill my daily life.

Likewise, before meeting the Three Principles, my days passed in eagerness. When I was at college or at work, I could hardly wait to be at home. Now that’s no longer the case. Every moment is special and wherever I am, there is no place that would be better than here and now. I also noticed that I had more strength than I thought. Before, if I slept for just six hours, my whole day would be ruined. Not because of the day as such but because of the thoughts that would give me the illusion of fatigue greater than it really was. That is also no longer the case. Now even when I sleep for just three hours, I do all the obligations in the same way as if I slept for eight hours. Also, I am more enthusiastic about performing all faculty and work obligations, which was not the case before. Before, everything was just a big burden for me.

What I like most about Darko’s way of working is his availability and patience which is not the case with other teachers I have met so far. Thank you Darko really for helping me realize that my life really makes sense.

Joana